I'm so glad you have redeemed your episode of back pain a little by transforming it into wisdom and sharing it with everyone here!
After a decade of similar episodes of back spasms, I've concluded that mine are also related to unexpressed emotions. John Sarno's book, "Healing Back Pain" was an eye-opener for me.
Blessings upon you as you continue on this journey of living with an integrated heart and body!
Thank you very much for the kind words Kelly. I appreciate them. I'll check out the book you mentioned. And yes, it is important to try to live in an integrated manner!
Hi Doga, I am so sorry about your back pain and the discomfort it has brought you--not only physical but emotional. I read this account with great interest, because your thought process and physical responses sounded so familiar to me! I have gone through very similar processes in the past, both in terms of backpain and my struggle to keep up with a stoic attitude/strong face and hiding my "weaknesses." It is real, and you are not alone! I think a lot of us think that way because we were raised to be strong and expected to handle "adult situations" alone. I can imagine the pressure to do that to be even bigger for men due to the way masculinity is defined by our cultures.
What I'm amazed at is that you finished Gabor Mate's thick book (I have it but it's still sitting on my shelf, LOL!). I have a strong belief--and visceral experience of how the body keeps the score and how trauma has affected my mind, body and spirit, especially during the entire period of sexual betrayal trauma. I have talked with many women with the same experience and the physical symptoms are real. The surprising thing is that our bodies respond with ailments even though our mind chose to believe in a different reality. The body is much faster and smarter than our mind, even though we often try to ignore the signs and what they are telling us.
I'm amazed at all the self inquiries you have done since the incident. I believe you will find the answers to your inquiries. I truly do. Your therapists also asked many helpful questions.
Regarding the physiology of the back pain itself, well, since I had a frozen back in my 30s and helped myself heal from it using postural alignment exercises, I have come to understand that part of the causes, besides emotional tension, is the way we habitually carry our body. Overtime, certain muslces get overused and others are underused. The imbalance creates tension that when under extra physical exersion or stress, may tip over into an acute injury because the body just can't take it anymore! The muscles get into spasm and the resulting pain is a smart way to get you to stop exerting yourself so they can rest and heal.
There are simple exercises to restore muscle balance. I would recommend you to do just one. It's effortless and can help relax your lower back muscles. (In this acute phase, do not do other stretches that can make it worse). Here is a video that I made. You can watch the part starting here:
Thank you very much for your comment. It is good to feel that one is not alone. And you're right. There is probably a clear gender component to the whole thing, too, cutting both ways.
Haha yes, Mate's book took some time to go through. The thing is, during my Phd, I became an expert in skimming and pinpointing the important points of a book (like I wrote last week https://afewthoughtson.substack.com/p/what-does-it-mean-to-read-a-book) so that is usually how I read those books, too. You are also right in pointing out that we should listen to our bodies more. I know I definitely should.
Thank you for suggesting the exercises and sending me the video. I'll check them out. I am back to light training although I try to be as careful as I can with my back.
You're welcome, Doga. I'm glad to hear you are already able to do some light training. Please go slow and not overdo it at this early stage. The exercise I demonstrated in the video can be done every day, once a day before you do other exercises. It is also a good way to end the day and relax before you go to bed.
I missed that article of yours about reading. I have saved it and look forward to reading it later! I definitely need to learn how to read faster and my books are piling up!
I'm so glad you have redeemed your episode of back pain a little by transforming it into wisdom and sharing it with everyone here!
After a decade of similar episodes of back spasms, I've concluded that mine are also related to unexpressed emotions. John Sarno's book, "Healing Back Pain" was an eye-opener for me.
Blessings upon you as you continue on this journey of living with an integrated heart and body!
Thank you very much for the kind words Kelly. I appreciate them. I'll check out the book you mentioned. And yes, it is important to try to live in an integrated manner!
Hi Doga, I am so sorry about your back pain and the discomfort it has brought you--not only physical but emotional. I read this account with great interest, because your thought process and physical responses sounded so familiar to me! I have gone through very similar processes in the past, both in terms of backpain and my struggle to keep up with a stoic attitude/strong face and hiding my "weaknesses." It is real, and you are not alone! I think a lot of us think that way because we were raised to be strong and expected to handle "adult situations" alone. I can imagine the pressure to do that to be even bigger for men due to the way masculinity is defined by our cultures.
What I'm amazed at is that you finished Gabor Mate's thick book (I have it but it's still sitting on my shelf, LOL!). I have a strong belief--and visceral experience of how the body keeps the score and how trauma has affected my mind, body and spirit, especially during the entire period of sexual betrayal trauma. I have talked with many women with the same experience and the physical symptoms are real. The surprising thing is that our bodies respond with ailments even though our mind chose to believe in a different reality. The body is much faster and smarter than our mind, even though we often try to ignore the signs and what they are telling us.
I'm amazed at all the self inquiries you have done since the incident. I believe you will find the answers to your inquiries. I truly do. Your therapists also asked many helpful questions.
Regarding the physiology of the back pain itself, well, since I had a frozen back in my 30s and helped myself heal from it using postural alignment exercises, I have come to understand that part of the causes, besides emotional tension, is the way we habitually carry our body. Overtime, certain muslces get overused and others are underused. The imbalance creates tension that when under extra physical exersion or stress, may tip over into an acute injury because the body just can't take it anymore! The muscles get into spasm and the resulting pain is a smart way to get you to stop exerting yourself so they can rest and heal.
There are simple exercises to restore muscle balance. I would recommend you to do just one. It's effortless and can help relax your lower back muscles. (In this acute phase, do not do other stretches that can make it worse). Here is a video that I made. You can watch the part starting here:
https://youtu.be/D0wOA1vVQCI?si=ppKFztiLVFVg42hn&t=266
No need to do the other exercises in this video for now. Hope it helps. Take care!
Hello Louisa,
Thank you very much for your comment. It is good to feel that one is not alone. And you're right. There is probably a clear gender component to the whole thing, too, cutting both ways.
Haha yes, Mate's book took some time to go through. The thing is, during my Phd, I became an expert in skimming and pinpointing the important points of a book (like I wrote last week https://afewthoughtson.substack.com/p/what-does-it-mean-to-read-a-book) so that is usually how I read those books, too. You are also right in pointing out that we should listen to our bodies more. I know I definitely should.
Thank you for suggesting the exercises and sending me the video. I'll check them out. I am back to light training although I try to be as careful as I can with my back.
Thanks again for the comment and your kind words!
You're welcome, Doga. I'm glad to hear you are already able to do some light training. Please go slow and not overdo it at this early stage. The exercise I demonstrated in the video can be done every day, once a day before you do other exercises. It is also a good way to end the day and relax before you go to bed.
I missed that article of yours about reading. I have saved it and look forward to reading it later! I definitely need to learn how to read faster and my books are piling up!